On the docket for today:

-It's Over, Primary!

-We Are Not Amused. Or Maybe We Are.

-Something Vaguely Scientific

We begin my celebrating the end of the Pennsylvania primary and the pleasing mental image of drowning Chris Matthews in milk. We then discuss the increasing divide between the two democratic camps and the possibility that the Democratic party is unintentionally deconstructing what should have been a bulletproof campaign. We then explore the possibility that the whole process could collapse if the superdelegates upset the popular vote. We divert then into comparing the political candidates to pies made of chicken and pig feces, then discuss using gym floors as a way of dealing with pesky childhood memories.

On a lighter note, we then discuss the massive folly of building an amusement park in Baghdad. We then discover that we don't even need to make a joke about EuroDisney; the laughs come all by themselves. Sanguinist then spoils everything by finding a plausible (if cynical) way for this whole thing to make sense.

We then slide on to skateboarding as a method of avoiding gunfire, the polygamist raid in Texas, and tequila boarding.

We then, regrettably, discuss Tila Tequila and Rock of Love. We apologize and promise not to do it again. We at least compensate by drawing a parallel between Brett Michaels's choice of mate and a Lovecraftian horror.

We then diverge over on the the 'pregnant guy' and his/her appearance on Oprah, then we look forward to the summer movie schedule (and take a quick look back at The Mist, Cloverfield, and AVP:R.) We then close the topic out by reminding ourselves about a crappy horror move that we had to see the trailer for waaaaaay too often.

Something Vaguely Scientific opens by discussing the quest to open a commercial spaceport, moves on to the commercialization of Earth Day, and the fact that humanity has almost wiped itself out (and the fact that the media seems to rediscover this fact every four years or so.).

Email us at: svreasonable@gmail.com

Music used with permission by DJ Lodger and Colin's Way

On the docket for today we have:

-I'm Just a Teenage Zombie

-Primering the Pump

-Something Vaguely Entertaining

Before we even get started, we digress onto a fictional TV show called Rawhive, the B.K. Iron Man toys (including the one that looks like Tony is carrying traffic cones), zombie porn (yet again), and the political future of Ron Jeremy's and Jesse Ventura (and the devastating nature of Ted Kennedy's splash.)

We then finally get on track and discuss the Nintendo DS's upcoming game Teenage Zombies. [Insert link] The relative level and style of humor seems to meet with the SVR crew's approval, even if Sanguinist would need to play it on Autumn's pink DS.

We then segue into gender stereotypes in video games, Dalek products which can break co-hosts, and Time Lord masturbation.

We then discuss the Pennsylvania primary and how much we can't wait for it to finally end. We also invent the Pennsylvania Primary Drinking Game (though it can be quickly modified for other primaries or even the upcoming presidential campaign.) We make a quick side trip to compare Cindy McCain and the Borg Queen (horrifying the Boy with the thought of her in skintight leather) and discuss German... stuff on Autumn's laptop.

Then we open the floor up to Something Vaguely Entertaining, where we discuss eating chocolate covered crickets, Panamanian beetles, Smurf crabs, weatherproofing with Spam, and Bender's Big Score. We then bitch heartily about Adult Swim's inexorable slide into live-action crap and the suckitude of Power Rangers. We then save ourselves by discussing Metalocalypse and playing the opening theme on Guitar Hero (with a small digression on playing Rock Band, Wii-ing with a Wii-mote, and the monthly fee for Wii fit. We close that out with Deliverance for the Wii.)

We then plug Scott Siegler's novel Infected. Go buy a copy.

Largo then finally gets a chance to praise Chris Nolan for not removing a scene involving the Joker hiding in a body bag from The Dark Knight simply because Heath Ledger is dead. We then segue into discussing The Crow and Brandon Lee's death and the runtime on Hellboy 2.

We slide over to discussing Guillermo del Toro directing The Hobbit (which hadn't been confirmed at the time) and the effect of the film on high school classes across the nation.

We close out with the Boy discussing the improvements made for the latest (and last) Metal Gear game.

Email us at: svreasonable@gmail.com

Music used with permission by DJ Lodger and Colin's Way

On the docket for this week we have:

-Iron Merchandising

-A Legal Black Hole

-Bitter Little Pill

-The Title Says it All, Really

We begin by discussing Largo's disappointment with the quality of Iron Man's merchandising machine and the similarly disappointing choice to keep running with the Salad-Head version of the Hulk in movieland. We then touch on Marvel editorial's consistently stupid decision making and the fact that Tony Stark is still an asshole. We then mash up Stallone and Scooby-Doo, explore the fact that some geeks have their own Repulsor beams, and then discover that the King has stepped up to the plate and taken over the comic book movie toy tie-ins that the Happy Meal had abandoned. Of course, we also realize that the King would also take the strippers that McDonald's would also abandon, be they alive or zombie, simply 'cause the King is that damned creepy. Or cool. You decide.

We then slide over into wearing Guy Fawkes masks while watching political speeches and Sanguinist's favorite part of The Man in the Iron Mask.

Kicking back to Iron Man, we discuss the connection between Iron Man the song and Iron Man the character as well as Ozzy's gradual disintegration.

We transition between topics by discussing office decoration and the deadly dangers of Christmas lights.

We then discuss the fact that a Hawaiian judge may be the last, best hope to save the universe from mankind's folly, and how we need Sam Neil narrating the black hole death of all creation. Then we light the atmosphere on fire and talk about evaporating diamonds, which the Swiss government thinks is very interesting and will take it under advisement, just like Nazi gold.

The magic of the Fish-Powered Engine then takes us to a discussion of how Pope Benedict is the best Pope for the internet age and then beg for e-mail, regardless of the language it's sent in.

We then take on the concept of Barak Obama maybe being right about Pennsylvanians being bitter when it comes to politics and politicians. Of course, that may be because Pennsylvanians are a bit on the bizarre side, not taking into account the international joke that the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation and it's biggest money pit, I-99.

We then discuss McCain closing the gap in Pennsylvania, Clinton's sniper fire escapade the KKK presence in the western part of the state, and Obama's critical failure on his bowling roll.

We then examine the fine art of zombie stripping, the downward spiral of Robert Englund's career, and the relative budget of Sci-Fi's original programming. We then speculate on the nefarious purpose behind Mike Rowe's omnipresent voiceover-ness, and the untimely cancellation of Paranormal State.

The Boy then gets a call, and the show gets pissy.

We close out by discussing how SVR Films could probably be better than the remake of Day of the Dead, the complexities of the dildo launcher, and how America is the home of herpes.

Email us at: svreasonable@gmail.com

Music used with permission by DJ Lodger and Colin's Way

We start this completely random show by clumping like kitty litter and discussing taping genitalia down. We then slide over out total lack of docket and discuss green solutions and their lack of applicability in getting off. We also broach the topic of girls chewing snuff and their relative levels of hotness.

We try to get on course by discussing Hillary's pursuit of Pennsylvania's younger voters, then promptly veer off into the gutter before noting that we managed to forget about all of the cool topics we'd found over the course of the week to discuss on the show. Voting comes up again with an anecdote about your humble host trying to vote twice. We then migrate onto misty watercolor memories of high school gym teachers and the requisite idiocy.

We then pull the guns from Chuck Heston's cold, dead hands. Much amusement is had. Especially when we speak of an 'armless' society and the 'Miss Landmine Survivor' pageant.

The fish powered engine then brings us to Ann Coulter's visit to campus, her... interesting take on the war on terror, and Autumn's desire to give us a mature rating for the episode.

We then move on to Zael's belated review of Transformers, which mainly quibbles about the overuse of a Secretary of Defense led gang of Scooby Kids. The concept of Frenzy taking the form of a Hawaii Chair brings us to the clip-show portion of this episode, where we revisit the ghosts of topics past. We then discuss the level of firearm accuracy shared by Cobra troopers and Imperial stormtroopers. We then give a half-assed, ill-prepared preview of the G.I. Joe movie and a bit of Joe history, but not before exploring the after-market uses for M.C. Hammer's back-up dancers and New Jersey hair. We then point out the idiocy of turning things into musicals, particularly when they're bad (but so good) old horror movies and movies that should have been made into movies. The clip-show mentality returns briefly as we discuss the Horrorfest experience yet again before moving on to plans to set up viewing for last year's films. We then discuss a bad show that may or may not be Torchwood (most accounts state that Torchwood is good), old shows finding new life online, and Z's frustration with Sci-Fi's marketing of Battlestar Galactica. We then digress into Scottish remote control and Alton Brown's inability to cook haggis.

Seriousness then threatens to take over as we discuss puppy mills before saving ourselves by discussing the Amish stumping their daughters for fresh genetics.

The new website makes its stunning debut, though it's still the color of a bodily fluid. Unsurprisingly, this leads to discussion of star-filled dildos and wacky wavey penis guys. And we don't mean the guy from the basketball team that got suspended for whacking off in the university library. We end with a drive-by jizzing.

We swear that we'll do better next week.

Email us at: svreasonable@gmail.com

Music provided with permission by DJ Lodger and Colin's Way.

Warning: contents of this show may mutate in speaking...

We start the show with a disclaimer that we've already used up most of our funny for the weekend, then proceed to talk about politically incorrect Mario brothers and why Uwe Boll can continue to make movies.

Officially on the docket is:

-Mrs. Clinton, stop; just stop.

-I went to break up this kegger and all I got was a lousy rootbeer

-The American President that America has been waiting for. From America.

-You can put an eye out, kids.

We promptly then digress with discussions about a Stallone zombie vs. Godzilla, improvised weapons from the days of our youth, and poo flinging monkeys. Trying to drag this runaway train back on track, we then move on to the belief that Hillary Clinton is doing more damage to the Democratic party than the Republican machine, then digress again onto pornstar Muppets, Bill getting laid when he was in town, Obma's speech about racial issues, and, surprise, zombies. We then link back to Hillary from zombieland and promptly segue into how politics prematurely age folks and the Pennsylvania primary. The primary leads to another digression into the Magic Bullet Theory and how the man who helped design it can sometimes make sense. We then drift on to using human waste as energy and mining landfills for methane and precious metals. We close this topic by examining using a penis as an anti-theft device.

The second topic touches on schools overstepping their boundaries by suspending a couple of kids for suspicion of drinking alcohol and the ingenious response put together by their fellow students. We then digress into doing donuts in the parking lot in the short, green bus and get serious again by examining parental responsibilities and professional responsibilities. We then somehow slide on to the Inquisition.

After that, we examine the concept that every president has been an American and the implications therein for the McCain candidacy and Arnold's future in politics. We also explore the Founding Fathers' definition of American. And the concept of a D&D god of plastic surgery somehow creeps in, as do a few celebrity divorces.

We then diverge once again into the lunatic fringe of celebrity e-mail, morning show rip-offs, and talking to demons.

We close the show out by discussing the dangers of flying with nipple piercings. Namely, the dangers of TSA agents overstepping their authority. We then somehow fall away to rats eating severed penises, cannibalism practiced on mimes, and polar bear and tiger attacks.

We close with a special delivery from Pandora and the Indiana Jones Christmas Special.

Email us at: svreasonable@gmail.com

Music provided with permission by DJ Lodger and Colin's Way.